


She is mine.

by Tauren_Priest



Category: The Voice (US) RPF, The Voice RPF
Genre: Ex-Con Blake, Fitness Instructor Adam, M/M, New York City, Single Parent Adam, Straight Blake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 13:15:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12059727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tauren_Priest/pseuds/Tauren_Priest
Summary: Adam Levine made a rush decision to apply for adoption. Being a single parent in New York city, he soon forget his wounded heart.With criminal record and alcoholic addiction behind him, Blake wants to be a better man.  His first atonement is finding his daughter back.





	1. Chapter 1

__

 

* * *

 

_Oklahoma Country Jail_

It was his rock bottom. An ugly bar brawl costed him 18 months sentence. Blake blamed no one but himself, he always knew his hot temper and alcohol addiction will get him troubles.

 

He survived in jail for almost a year. There are gangers, janky, harmless white collar criminals and old folks serving life sentence. It was safe as long he stayed alert and out of gangs’ conflicts.

 

“Get up, Blake.” A prison guard poked his cell door with baton. “A government officer wants to see you.”

 

Blake gazed at the cell door window with doubt. He never had visitors, mails or phone calls before. He wondered what was this about.

 

* * *

 

_Private visit room_

“I’m Christina Aguilera, representative from Children’s Bureau.” A woman with curly blonde hairs gestured Blake for a seat.

 

“Why am I here?” Blake couldn’t think of any connection between him and the bureau.

 

“Do you recognize this woman?” Christina showed him a photo from the closed file.

 

Short lady with lovely smile, blonde hairs and natural tanned skin. It was an one-time thing a few days before the bar fight.

 

“Yes,” He nodded. “Mary. Mary Lambeck.”

  
  
“Did you sleep with her last July 15th?”

 

How would he forget? A drunk pretty girl ran on stage to sing, and ended up in his bed hours later.

 

Christina dropped her plain and serious tone, said softly. “She passed away weeks ago during labor. We would like to get your DNA sample if you may.”

 

Blake was lost when she mentioned the maternal death, responded with widened eyes after a few seconds. “I have a son!?”

 

“Daughter, but it isn’t confirmed yet.”

 

* * *

_7 months later_

  
  
Video game stall was not a common destination for newly released prisoners. Usually, diners or home will be their first stop back to society.

  
  
He hadn’t been in a video game or toy stall for more than decades ever since he dropped out from high school to work. His childhood was long gone and nothing to look back.

  
  
The stall was empty in the middle of the day, and there was only one hipster looking guy sat comfortably behind the counter, playing racing game with his laptop. He didn’t spare a gaze when Blake entered.

 

  
“Hey, is Pharrell here?” His inmate, Cee Lo recommend this computer expert, perhaps hacker to be specific.

 

“He is not coming today. What do you need from him?”

 

“When does he come back?”

 

The hipster shrugged with the same poker face.

  
  
Blake could feel the veins on his fist pumping up, inhaled deep as he reminded himself to be patient.

 

“It’s important. Can ya call him? Cee Lo told me to come here.”

 

“Oh, how’s he doing in the big house?” He paused the game and turned to Blake, asked in the same casual tone, assumed Blake is one of his fellow inmates.

 

Blake took out a file from his bag. “Great, he’ll be out a few months if nothing wrong with his parole.”

 

“So, what are you looking for?” Pharrell nodded. He usually received information about company that people wanted him to stole information from, or security system that needed to be highjacked. The file contained a photo of a baby girl, a copy of her birth certificate, and some other official documents.

 

“That’s my daughter. Children’s Bureau took her away from me.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Her mother passed away when I was stuck behind bars. I just want to know where she lives, see if she’s in good hands. That’s all I wanted. Please.”

 

“You can ask Children’s Bureau where she is,” Pharrell did not see the point of stealing the record when Blake was entitled to it already.

 

“Things get worse through them, her guardians won’t let me see her.” Blake lost faith in those Children’s Bureau officers. He hated it when they said _‘It is for her best interests.’_ They would definitely tell Rose's guardians all sort of bad history about him if he filed a request for the record.

 

“Alright,” Pharrell considered for a moment, glanced at those gloomy eyes.

  
  
“So we have a deal?”

 

“Yes,” He nodded. Moment later, a paper slipped off from the printer nearby. “Done.”

 

“Huh?” Blake blinked, doubted if he heard Pharrell correctly.

 

“That’s the adoption record and the address.” He passed the record to Blake.

  
“Just like that? I… I don’t know what to say. Thanks,” His big palms shook with anxiety. With the information, he could find his daughter.

  
Adoption application approved six months ago. Adoptive parents only indicated one man, Adam Levine, aged thirty, currently living in Brooklyn.

 

“Do you use Facebook?”

 

“No.” Blake only uses his phone for calling and texting. Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and Instagram were for young people, Blake didn’t get the idea of putting out his daily life on display, besides he had nothing interesting to show nor anyone would care to spend time on him.

 

“Never mind, look at this.” Pharrell pointed at the screen. “That should be the correct Adam Levine. Baby girl, single parent, Brooklyn.”

 

The profile picture was a cheerful man holding Rose in his arms out in snow. She was lovely in a tiny winter coat with Christmas hat.

  
Pharrell noticed the hesitation on Blake’s face as he scrolled down the album that filled with photos of his daughter.

  
“I should go. Thank you again.” Blake forced a smile.

* * *

_Nashville Greyhound bus station_

  
Blake looked at the digital clock again, wishing the layover would end sooner. It was the fourth layover on his way to New York. His body felt paralyzed sitting in a tiny seat that lacked room for his long legs, he stretched his body a few times.

 

His attention landed on convenient stall inside the station, he battled the temptation to buy liquors. He hadn’t taste a sip of alcohol even since his prison sentence. Being alcoholic was one of the major reason why he ended up in prison in the first place.

He steeled his will and shifted his attention to the screensaver of Rose on his phone. He reminded himself that he’d changed for a reason, for his precious girl.

  


	2. Chapter 2

_Brooklyn Yoga Studio_

 

"That's all for today's session. We’ll start with Sirsasana next time." Adam wrapped up his yoga session sharp on time.

 

He hurried to the cribs behind him. His little angel was still sleeping peacefully. He always worried that her crying would interrupt his classes. Even though the fitness center has an employee’s children friendly policy, allowing Adam to bring Rose along to work, he tried to run his classes as smooth as possible, and made sure she is fed and her diaper was changed before each session.

 

“Hey, Adam. Still remember the last time I told you about Larry?” One of the lady came forward, showed Adam photo of the guy on her phone.

 

“Kerry, I appreciated it.” The guy was fine, perhaps decent, but Adam only spared a glance on her phone due to curiosity. “Maybe not right now.

 

“Alright. Let me know if you change your mind.”

 

* * *

 

“What’s wrong this time? Old enough to be your father? Creepy eyes?” Shakira came by and stood beside her cribs.

 

“Ha, ha.” Adam ignored her with a fake laugh, went to pantry with Rose’s baby bottle. “He’s not my type anyway.”

 

“I can look after Rose if you ever feel like going out,” Shakira offered. “Just go somewhere for a drink, treat yourself for taking such good care of our princess. You need a day off.” She continued.

 

“I don't think it's a good idea.” For the past few months, he never let Rose get out of his sight.

 

“She's gonna be fine, I’ll keep you posted.”

 

He believed in her experience as a mother of two boys, but his heart was full of worries and doubts.

 

“C’mon. When is the last time you walk in a bar?” She regretted immediately, recalled those terrible rebound guys Adam picked up.

 

“I guess you are right.”

 

“Just come by my place at seven or eight.” She glanced at the door when her students coming in for Pilates class.

 

* * *

_Shakira's home_

 

“It’s barely an hour.” Shakira questioned when Adam returned early, read the answer on his anxious face. “She’s still sleeping.”

 

Adam picked his daughter up, made himself comfortable on the couch. “The place is okay, I…… I couldn’t help worrying about Rose. I don't feel safe leaving her.”

 

“I know. It’s a phase.” She sat beside him with two glasses of wine. “Trust me, you’ll feel relieved when you started sending them to schools.”

 

Adam hadn’t thought that far yet, remained silent as he gazed down at Rose. His princess grew a lot since the first time he held her in his arms, at least twice as heavy. Adopting her was a rush decision, he still had doubts about single parenting, whether he can provide her a loving family and childhood that she deserved.

 

“Awww.” Shakira giggled seeing the maternal love in his eyes, the gay best friend she knew used to be competitive and feisty. He changed. His sharp edges have worn away slowly in the past two years.

 

“Stop it,” Adam spared a hand to take a glass of wine.

 

“You know. It’s still the craziest thing you did.” She pointed at Rose. “Crazy, but kind.”

 

Roughly 9 months ago, Adam told her that he filed an adoption application. She didn’t take him seriously. 4 months later, Rose came to his life. She still couldn’t believe the fact until Adam brought Rose to work.

 

 _How could government or agency possibly approve Adam's application? A single man without experience of raising infant. What were they thinking? Weren’t there thousands of married couples waiting in line for adoptions?_  

 

She dropped the thoughts again. At least their lives fell in place now, raising Rose glued his broken heart back in one piece.

 

“Where’s Pique and the kids?” Adam asked.

 

“Queens, with their grandma for tonight. Enough about kids.” She refilled their glasses. “Tell me more about your night. Met anyone? Or matches on Grindr?”

 

“No.” Adam exhaled deep. “Doesn’t matter. Not like that I can bring guys home.”

 

“That’s not true.”

 

“I can’t." He shook his head. "I can’t do it when she’s around. It feels weird.”

 

“She’s still too young to remember or understand things like that.”

 

“What if she needs me during sex?”

 

“Oh please. Not like she cries every freaking 10 minutes. Just tell the guy to pause.”

 

“Wait. Hold it for 5 minutes. I need to feed the baby.” He mocked.

 

“Yeah,” She chuckled. “If he likes you, Rose won’t be the problem. Can’t hold it for 5 minutes? That’s a bigger problem.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

_Manhattan, New York City_

  
The first moment he arrived, he knew New York was the kind of city that he could never fit in for good. Manhattan was a bipolar place, either too tourist or business oriented, and the whole city seemed crowded with tourists, business people and street artists. When the bus drove through 5 th avenue, it had those modern skyscraper, with luxury fashion shops in Soho.

 

The traffic was unbearable near Time Square, his impatience was eating him up inside, wished to get off the bus immediately.

 

Shifting his eyes to the street, there was a happy family of three walking pass the bus, a young kid swung hands in between his parents who were wearing the infamous “I❤️NY” t-shirts.

 

Blake’s heart twitched in pain again, he owed this kind of happiness to the poor girl he knocked up and the baby that born without parents. Rose’s mother tried to reach him, left him voice and text messages that he received them far too late.

 

He kept dwelling deeper into his guilt, wondered how things turn out if he hadn’t arrested, if he wasn’t so violent, if he was there when they needed him……

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m in Brooklyn now,” Blake wasted half an hour figuring out the metro system, those lines, intersections and platforms were confusing.

 

“And?” Pharrell asked. Blake could hear keyboard and mouse clicking from another side.

 

“Are there any motels in here? I can’t see any signs.”

 

“C’mon, I ain’t Google. Just search it on Trip Advisor.”

 

“Huh?” Blake sounded completely clueless.

 

“Just tell me your budget,” Pharrell sighed, he didn’t usually do pro bono job, but Blake had him with those sad gloomy eyes.

 

“Thanks, man. As cheap as possible, I just need a place to sleep.” He didn’t have much saving, and most of his credit cards were cancelled. Besides, he was practically unemployed, and the situation was likely to last for awhile.

 

* * *

 

 

_Returned from Shakira's,_

 

Adam laid on his bed once Rose fell asleep in her crib, he let his sore body sunk into the mattress. The conversation with Shakira still bothered him, easy for her to say having infants around during sex was not an issue, she was married and of course the father didn’t mind.

 

Grindr. He hadn’t use it for almost a year. Swiping through guys nearby, he recognized most of those profiles. The dating pools on these applications were never huge, people were basically the same.

 

If it was two years ago, he would hook up with any decent guys he met to get over his past. He had needs and desires that he couldn’t satisfy by himself, but he craved for the right guy and a stable relationship than sex and fun, realized how much he wanted to form a family.

 

* * *

_Brooklyn Hostel_

 

By the time Blake woke up, it was already 11 in the morning, a normal bed felt prefect comparing with that of his prison cell or those Megabus' seats.

 

On his way to Rose’s address, he kept repeating the speech he prepared, wished the Children’s Bureau hadn’t contact Adam yet.

 

At the door, his palm placed on the bell, repeated the words in his mind one last time. Time froze as he pressed, the sound echoed inside the apartment.

 

 _This is it._ He thought to himself, whether Adam likes him or not, he had to see Rose.

 

* * *

 

 

He pressed for a couples more times before realizing no one was there.

 

"Hey, ya sure this is the right address?" Blake called Pharrell.

 

"Pretty sure this is it. Maybe he's out……” Pharrell replied. “Starbucks."

 

"What?"

 

"He's out. He posted on snapchat not long ago."

 

"You know where he is?"

 

"There is one Starbucks two blocks away, you might want to take a look."

 

As soon as he hung up the phone, he received the photo from Pharrell. A close shot of ice coffee with cation of ‘Lazy Sunday’, he was drawn to Rose in the baby stroller immediately.

 

Blake spotted Adam from distance half way to the coffee place. His heart raced fast knowing his daughter was in the stroller. It was so close that he could finally see her in person. 

 

He didn’t rush forward right away, but followed them instead, slowed his pace when Adam entered a supermarket at the corner of street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very likely that I will modify it within before 18th Oct. College works caught up with me lately.


	4. Chapter 4

_Bed, Bath and Beyond. Brooklyn._

 

Adam stretched his arms up on his tippy toes, he could almost reach those few remaining diapers on the highest shelf. He leaned further closer to the shelf, yet there were still inches between his fingers and the diapers.

 

His motion paused when he sensed someone big and tall was behind him, the man grabbed a pack of diapers at ease.

 

“Here.” The man spoke with southern drawl, offered Adam the diapers, dragged another pack closer to the edge. “Ya need the rest?”

 

“No. I can get it myself.” Adam expressed his unpleasant receiving help. His hostile tone softened as he turned to face the man.

 

“Thanks,” Adam was carried away when their gaze met.

 

_Odd._

 

The man looked at him as if they met before, but they didn’t. Huge like a sasquatch, scruffy face with silver grey wavy hair, those dimples and ocean blue eyes. Not a man that Adam would forget easily.

 

Blake shifted his gaze to the stroller beside Adam, knelt on one knee before them, couldn’t help his thighs and palms from shaking. His daughter grew, not the rosy tiny baby in the first photo when he first knew about her in prison, he missed out an entire year.

 

"She’s prefect."

 

Rose was chewing her pacifier, her small blue eyes looked at Blake with curiosity, both her hands waved up and down clumsily. The pacifier dropped as she opened her mouth. "Daar."

 

It wasn't even sound close to a word, but was enough to stun Blake. He read her more carefully, so glad that she looked more like her mother, only things in common were their blue eyes.

 

Blake smiled, the joy in his heart felt unrealistic comparing to pleasure sex and booze. If her mother hadn’t met him, hooked up with someone who wasn’t violate and alcoholic, she and Rose would have been happier now. Maybe she could survive the labor.

 

_He never deserved her. Not even for one second._

 

"Thanks?" Adam replied.  Rose received compliments a lot in fitness studio, parks and streets, people often say it like they saw cute babies or animals. Yet, the southern man said with a different tone, a more sincere and serious tone.

 

"Oh. I'm…… I'm sorry." Blake stood, saw the disturbed expression on Adam, head tilted down slightly while introducing himself. "Blake Shelton,"

 

He expected Adam to pause or be scared, Adam probably heard of him as the biological father with assault record of serious body injury from Children’s Bureau.

 

"Hi. Call me Adam and this is Rose." He guestured his baby girl proudly.

 

They just stood with blank silence for a few more seconds. Blake started to doubt whether Adam knew about him, those hazel eyes showed no fear or disgust.

 

"I should go," Adam eventually choked out, left for the cashier with Rose. "Thanks again for the diapers, Blake."

 

Blake stayed still as he realized that Adam didn't know about him. _Great._ Blake thought. He could tell Adam by himself.

 

Or maybe not for now.

 

* * *

 

 

Such a pity that the southern hunk was shy, Adam assumed Blake wanting to ask for his number or a drink together. He fail to tell if the southern man is gay, Blake didn't feel like one, but that anxious look on his face confused Adam.

 

He couldn't deny that he found Blake attractive, those gloomy eyes were just too damn blue.

 

"Hey, Adam. Wait."

 

Adam hid his smile before turning back at Blake.

 

The big man muted again, barely cracked a word. He struggled hard in deciding whether this was the right time to tell Adam. He might be able to see Rose a few times if Adam didn’t know how destructive he used to be.

 

"(212)-318-1979" Adam broke the silence.

 

"Huh?"

 

"Call me." Adam was amused by Blake’s clueless dorky expression, repeated his number when Blake took out his cellphone.

 


	5. Chapter 5

_Chelsea Market, Manhattan_

 

It was just three hours after he gave Blake his numbers, Adam already started to question why haven’t Blake call him yet. It’d been a long while since he walked back into dating pool, he was anxious for a reason.

 

Hey. Hey.

“Hey.”

 

Adam responded the third time Shakira called for his attention.

 

“Are you really that tired of shopping with me?”

 

He promised spending the day with her as a return for looking after Rose.

 

“No. Of course not.” He pushed the baby stroller carefully while following her into a scented candle shop. “I met a guy this morning.”

 

She almost dropped the candle when Adam said it. Her expression turned from surprise to mockery.

 

“Don’t make that face.”

 

“Your sneaky bitch.” She teased. “What happened?”

 

“Nothing happened yet.” He didn’t sigh, but his plain tone implied anticipation and disappointment. “I met him at the grocery stall. I left him my numbers.”

 

Maybe Blake didn’t want to come on too strong to call right away, all Adam could do right now is to wait.

 

* * *

 

 

Adam’s phone rang for the first time for today while they were travelling back to Brooklyn, he picked up the call from an unknown number immediately.

 

“Yes?”

 

Shakira could tell it was the guy Adam was talking about, that shy sweet grin betrayed Adam.

 

“Tonight?” Adam hesitated and gazed at Shakira once again when Blake asked him out. She had her own children to take care of. “I’ll have to check with my friend if she is available for Rose.”

 

“It’s better if ya bring Rose.”

 

“That’s……” Adam was surprised to hear that, feeling like Blake gets him too well. “There is an Italian restaurant not far away from where we met.”

 

* * *

 

 

Adam saw the southern man waiting outside his building, a bit surprised seeing the same outfit, and with a small stuffed teddy bear. Now he felt over dressed for their first date.

 

Blake didn't notice he was being watched. His expression was tensed, his furrowing brows made him look more weathered than he already was.

 

Adam didn't bring the stroller, carried Rose by himself with carrier that tied on his waist. He never thought bring Rose on a date was possible. Somehow, he felt more nervous than he supposed to, hoped the night go well with Blake.

 

“You’re early.” Adam left the building and greeted.

 

Blake lit a natural wide grin seeing them. Those shady gloomy eyes vanished and replaced with sparks when he saw Adam walking out with Rose. His joy was so real that made Adam feels flattered, wasn't expected to be that delightful for Blake to see him.

 

"This is for her." Blake clarified, "I hope she likes teddy bear." This was a brand-new teddy bear from infant’s toy store, he couldn’t risk buying unsafe toys from elsewhere.

 

‘He’s the one.’ Adam could hear his own thought echoed.

 

"She's still too young to have preference, she loves it as long as she can crew." Adam joked, but her teeth growing situation was a big deal for him, he’d been avoiding her from toys with small parts that might choke her.

 

"So, where're you from?" Adam could tell he was not familiar with New York or Brooklyn at all. From south, but where exactly?

 

"Oklahoma,"

 

"How long did you move here?"

 

"Oh. No. I'm not living in New York. Just gonna stay for few more days or a week." Blake saw the sparks faded in Adam’s eye. "I come here to see my family." He peeked at Rose for a second. She was hugging the teddy bear with her tiny arms.

 

He lost in his thoughts again, wondered when is the right moment, better wait till Adam is tipsy after two or three glasses of wine during dinner.

 

"I take this is your first time here then." Adam guessed it was touchy topic about Blake's family when the southern man remained silence for a while.

 

"Yup. New York is just like what I saw from tv."

 

"I can show you around if you'd like to. Most of my sessions end in the afternoon." Adam said. "I teach yoga in uptown."

 

"Great. I had a hard time figuring the metro thing here."

 

"It's not complicated once you get the correct direction." Adam slowed his pace as the diner was a few steps away. "What you do back in Oklahoma?"

 

"I drive tow truck and fix cars" He used to, before he was put in prison.

 

The answer didn't surprise Adam much, but he felt a terrible hitch. Blake didn't have that specific quality he usually senses from other gay guys, which was unsettling.

 

Adam reached for a door handle, but Blake responded quick enough to push open the door for Adam.

 

The chivalry behaviors discarded his doubt, perhaps Blake is one of those old fashion southern men. Blake held the door and pulled the chairs for them. Adam usually felt uncomfortable when he was treated ‘differently’ or like a lady to be specific, but not when he was with Blake.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Blake let Rose touches and holds his palm while they waited for their food, he felt like he had the world when he was holding her tiny hands. Yet, it reminded him that he never deserved her. An unemployed redneck who spent times in prison, why would she want a father likes him? He questioned himself.

 

"She likes you," Their baby girl didn't afraid of strangers, since she always surrounded by people in fitness center, but she rarely wanted to be touched or another way round to strangers.

 

Blake startled. Gazed at his daughter, her innocent smile hurt Blake like poison in his veins, she shouldn’t like him at all.

 

Yes. She likes Blake for now, unlikely in future. The self-hatred spoke to Blake again.  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, guys. Sorry for the late update, I am officially graduated and unemployed now. Therefore, I should be able to finish the whole fic soon.


	6. Chapter 6

The dinner was fine, but Adam could tell it was not a good date. Blake was friendly and gentle, perhaps a little bit uptight whenever he talked about himself and life in Oklahoma. The real problem was that there was no desire in those blue eyes, either Blake was the most repressed person and hid his interest from Adam or he didn’t find the single parent attractive during the date.

 

“Careful,” Blake warned with a steady and protective tone, dragged Adam and Rose towards him when some random pedestrians ran past them in hurry.

 

It surprised Adam to see the concerned expression of Blake, his big palm still held tight of Adam’s waist.

 

Adam loved the view to Blake up close, especially when he knew that the big man cared about them.

 

Blake quickly took his hand off Adam, couldn’t stand gazing at those hazel eyes, there were admiration and affections, and Blake knew damn well that what Adam wants from him. “I just…… They almost bump into ya.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

* * *

 

 

_Adam’s apartment_

 

Adam tugged Rose back in her cribs in the baby room. It was a temporary arrangement, where Adam might move her crib back to his room a few hours later or tomorrow, depending on how the night was going to end.

 

It'd been a long day for Rose, grocery shopping, window shopping with Shakira and the dinner. Adam was glad that she was patient and quiet the whole time.

 

“Naaaaa.” She made an unpleasant noise when Adam took her new teddy bear away. “Beaaa.”

 

"You can play with it tomorrow. The bear isn't going anywhere." Adam placed the teddy bear on the shell, spun the butterfly’s music wheel, watched Rose falling asleep when soft music started.

 

Blake was on the couch, rugged his forehead with stress. He was supposed to ask for Adam's permission to visit Rose, yet all he did was giving Adam wrong signals.

 

Adam made it difficult. The way Adam gazed at him reminded him of Rose's mother, he was the worst thing happened to her. Didn't want to harm another person for having an interest on him, a white trash, aimless ex-con, deadbeat baby daddy.

 

"You need anything? I got beer, bourbon, Jack Daniel’s……" Adam asked.

 

Blake peeked at the open fridge. "Bud light is fine." It was not a wise idea. He already had a few glasses of wine during dinner, getting drank was the most dangerous situation to avoid beside triggering his ill temper.

 

* * *

 

 

"It must be hard raising her alone?" Blake asked.

 

"Sometimes. But I have help from work." Adam joined Blake on the couch.

 

Speak of the devil, Rose's crying interrupted them.

 

"She's hungry, again." Adam could tell by experience. “It’s only take a few minutes.”

 

“It’s alright.” Blake took another sip of beer.

 

Adam hurried to the kitchen for her milk formula. Relieved that Blake was patient to them.

 

* * *

 

 

Blake held Rose in his arms, swinging back and fore slowly, humping country song with low and soft voice. Rose yawned and rugged her sleepy eyes, leaned her tiny body at Blake.

 

He dreamed of holding her ever since he acknowledged her existence. His daughter, his baby girl, sleeping in his arms. Blake wanted to see her walks, to see her going to school, to be a part of her life. He got to tell Adam the truth.

 

Adam watched Blake silently at the door, fell much deeper for him for that moment. Blake could be _the one_. Also, he was going to be _the one that got away for wrong timing_.

 

The southern man noticed him, stepped forward to Adam, appeared to pass Rose back. “Here,”

 

Adam corrected the way he held Rose instead, gave the formula to the hungry infant. “You have to raise your arm a little bit higher.”

 

* * *

 

 

"There's something……" Blake gathered his courage to tell the truth when they tugged Rose in her crib again. Adam’s lips pressed against his, before he could say more.

 

Adam was on his tippy toes, gazed at those crystal blue eyes with lust. The fear of rejecting lingering when Blake stayed still without response.

 

Blake would normally push any men away and punch them right in the face, but he didn’t feel violated or disgusted. It confused Blake when his lips loosened up, to meet with those soft wet lips, his arms shifted to hook Adam's waist.

 

Adam clinched onto him, moaned in pleasure when Blake kissed him back. The southern man showed more initiative the longer their tongues tied. Adam grabbed his stubbled cheek, thighs rugged against Blake's hardening crotch, moaned lustfully when the bigger man pinned him to the wall.

 

Blake tilted down at Adam's neck, inhaled the wonderful smell of Adam, left kisses on that soft smooth skin.

 

"My room," Adam said in between of moaning, his legs hooked around Blake's waist as Blake carried him with ease.

 

Blake couldn't explain why he was aroused. The booze? Or perhaps the two years sentence without sex? He didn't really see Adam in sexual way till now, such gorgeous face and nice body figure, especial that firm round ass. Bet Adam was the trophy prize in gay men.

 

"Ya got the things we need?" Blake never expected to apply the knowledge learnt from what he heard in prison.

 

"Bedside drawer." Adam said with shaky breath, kissed back while Blake was gripping one of his ass cheek. The intimacy continued as they fell onto the double bed.

 

Blake held still of his body atop of Adam on one arm, removed his jean with spare hand. They both undressed with rough actions, followed their eagerness for sex.

 

Touching Adam's naked body, it drove Blake more desperate to release his sexual frustration, he was not sure why now or why just Adam, but not interested in any other prisoners or guys at all.

 

There were no foreplay or fingering.

 

Blake went straight ahead wrapping condom and pouring lube on his cock. He shot Adam a last look for consent and reassurance.

 

Adam nodded, he wanted Blake now. Pain and pleasure, he wanted to feel both.

 

His upper torso blended upward, his head tilted back simultaneously at the moment he felt the tip of Blake.

 

"Arr…… Argh." The pain deepened for every single inch of Blake squeezed through. "Fuck."

 

Unbearable pain spread across his body, palms squeezed the bedding sheet tight. Adam tried his best not to scream, biting his lower lip, tried to relax and expand his body for Blake to get deeper.

 

Blake noticed the twisting pain in Adam, he forced the length inside with even slower movement, hoped it would ease the suffering.

 

"I got ya. I got ya."Blake stayed still, big palm placed on Adam's flushed cheek. He leaned lower, murmured beside his ear. "I ain't gonna move."

 

Adam hooked his arms onto Blake’s shoulders, toes stretched and curled wide. Blake was soaked with sweats, his whole muscular body turned red.

 

Adam was damn tight for Blake, his flesh coiled around Blake's cock. The southern hunk could feel every contraction of Adam's circular muscles against his cock, expanding to fit his size, tightening to prevent Blake from withdrawing.

 

It felt fucking great for Blake, it was pure pleasure to shove his cock inside Adam. He groaned long and low, fought with the temptation to thrust. His forehead pressed against Adam’s, waited until the smaller man stopped panting.

 

Blake started off slow, pulled back slightly, then pressed deep again. Adam’s whole body quivered by his first thrust, pleasure stroke his sensation like lightening.

 

“Blake!”

 

“That’s the spot, huh?” Blake repeated his motion even slower but more forceful when he stroke his spot.

 

Adam nodded and shook his head, his body was jolted between pain and pleasure.

 

Blake began to fuck Adam like a rotted beast, pulled out slow to tease the spot, slammed in rough with brutal force, claimed those soft lips of Adam while drilling deep inside him.

 

A strange sound interrupted them, their motions froze as they heard Rose’s crying voice.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have good news and bad news.  
> Good news is that I found an audit job two weeks ago. Bad news is that it is peak season for work, so I don't have much free time, but I'll update the final chapter this weekend. Thank you again. : ]


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 23 March 18
> 
> Sorry that I'd been away for months, it is peak season right now and I was sent aboard for audit for weeks and worked overtime non-stop till recently.
> 
> Sorry again for keeping you all for waiting that long.

"You should check on her."

  
Blake retrieved slowly, could feel Adam’s grips tightened when he pulled away.

 

It was suffocating for Adam, he saw the frustration in those blue eyes, the way Blake jolted in shock when they heard Rose’s calling.

 

"It won't take long." Adam left the bed in hurry.

 

Obviously, the lust was gone for Blake.

 

* * *

 

 

"There you go," Adam wiped Rose clean and changed her diaper. He was swinging her gently till she yawned.

 

He wasn’t sure if they would continue. He wanted to feel the pain and pleasure having Blake inside him again. And the way he felt underneath Blake, it was the first time he felt secured whether in life or bed since forever, already missed the warm body he was holding onto. It’d been too damn long for him to sleep alone in that cold empty bed.

 

It wasn't love or feelings, not yet. Adam didn't allow himself to feel this way to a guy that would leave soon. No matter how much he wanted Blake to stay in NYC.

 

* * *

 

 

Blake grabbed a tissue, cleaned the precum on his cock. Sat at bedside, realizing what he did. Another horrible decision added to his record, Adam would feel like he used him, to get close to Rose. He didn't mean to, that was not his intention.

 

Then he thought of Adam, naked underneath him, holding him tight, whimpering in respond. His cock stirred up hard again. He still wanted to fuck Adam.

 

What is wrong with him? Blake couldn't understand. Was he gay now? Or he was simply attracted sex, comfort and pleasure? 

 

"Are you alright?" Adam asked, returned once he settled Rose's needs. The southern man looked tensed and dwell in thoughts.

 

"No. I……" Blake stopped abruptly when Adam hugged him from behind.

 

Adam rested his head on Blake's broad shoulder, didn't want to end like this, but wouldn’t pursue if Blake was not comfortable with Rose was around.

 

"She's asleep for the next few hours,"

 

Those touches were tender and warm, yet felt like burning flame. There was an idea of picking up where they left off, he wanted to fuck Adam raw and spill deep inside him. The deeper Adam leaned toward him, the less self-control and sanity left for Blake to restrain himself.

 

He sighed deep, lifted those gentle hands off him, turned to face Adam.

 

 _ **Tell him the truth**_. Blake urged himself.

 

But Adam made the first move, kissed him slowly again, ran fingers into his wavy greyish hair.

 

Blake was on top of Adam once again in a swift movement, stopped from rubbing his length against Adam's. He threw his body back immediately, kept his distance.

 

"No, Adam. I can't."

 

It was just a short interruption if he meant Rose. Or was it something else? Was Blake married? Engaged? In a relationship?

 

"There's something I’d been meaning to tell ya…… I'm Rose's father."

 

Adam heard every single word, but they made no senses at first. His expression turned to disbelief. The southern man was serious, Adam narrowed his gaze at Blake, lips parted silently. Even without proof, Adam had a hunch that it was truth.

 

"Children's Bureau took her away when I was in prison. I'm not trying to take her back, I just…… I just want to see her."

 

Prisoner. It matched with what he heard before. "Shelton?" Adam hoped they are both mistaken, but Blake nodded.

 

That was insane, whole new level of shock from what Adam was expecting for tonight. He sat back dreadfully. He had sex with Rose's father. Not that it was wrong. No wondered those crystal blue eyes looked resembling.

 

Adam heard of things about Rose's biological father from Children’s Bureau, all bad things saying how unqualifying, irresponsible and terrifying as a person Blake was. Violent, alcoholic, ill tempered. Clearly differed from today experience.

 

"The assault, they said you beat up someone." Blake committed second degree felony if Adam recalled correctly. He was sure that Blake was capable to cause severe injuries.

 

"I was reckless. But those were my past." Blake admitted and understood what Adam was afraid of. "I'm sorry that I should have told ya right away."

 

"What about us? This." Adam questioned. "Is this your plan? Get to me so that you can see her?"

 

Adam shook his head. His heart was wounded ever since last broke up two years ago, and he thought he escaped the shadow of betrayal, that he could trust another man.

 

"No." Blake answered instantly. "I never slept with guys before. Never thought of it." His cock turned harder when the idea of being deep inside Adam flashed in his mind.

 

Great. Adam felt like being slapped in the face mentally. He slept with a nice guy that he really interested in and turned out to be Rose's father. "I…… I need time."

 

They both searched for the same thing. Warmth. The fire that them both from the cold. Perhaps more than satisfying mutual needs, but they couldn't tell.

 

"I'm sorry for tonight." Blake reached to his clothes on floor and left the bed. He turned to Adam one last time outside of his bedroom. "Thank you…… for taking care of Rose."

 

"Wait." Adam had so much going on in his mind, doubts and questions about Blake. Before he made any judgement or decision, he couldn't ignore the fact that Rose is their daughter.

 

Blake was standing still while naked, turned back, but avoided Adam's gaze, feared what he would see. Probably disappointment, anger and suspicion.

 

"Are you coming back to visit us? Maybe once in a while when you settle down……" Adam said, his heart raced in fear and uncertainty, but he bet on accepting Blake. 

 

"I would love to." Blake relied instantly with wide grin and relief.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it took me literally forever to update, and I am still not entirely satisfy with this version, so there may be slight edit, but the plot and idea are the same.

“You got to stop.” Shakira said it a few times during the past two months, she didn’t mind going through the ‘he’s just a rebound guy’ speech with Adam at least he would stay focus for the following hours.

 

That one-night stand had colossal impact on him, different from his last heartbroken, there was no sorrow or rage. It was hope, she could see it whenever Adam picked up his phone for incoming calls or messages, yet the it shifted into disappointment within seconds every single time.

 

“Huh?”

 

“For god sake, he was just looking for fun. It was NSA, if he feels anything he would have called you.”

 

“Yeah,” Adam avoided further continuing the topic, he responded with a weary smile. There were things about Blake that he kept to himself, not even his best friends or siblings.

 

She sighed, knowing Adam was just playing along.

 

For a moment, Adam thought Blake would contact them, or at least inquire about Rose, but he didn’t. He had doubt whether Blake was serious about seeing her again.

 

Eventually, he winded up at the contract list on his phone when Shakira went off chasing her children.

 

Pressed the call button with racing heart, cancelled as soon as it started to ring. Turned his gaze at his sleeping beauty in the stroller. Their baby girl could say simple words now, like food and animals, her first word was ‘no’, probably because he kept saying it when she tried to climb away. Blake was missing out in her life.

 

**_He would have called if he cares._ **

 

* * *

 

“That’s all for today session, see you all next Monday.” Adam wrapped up his class as he noticed Miley, the receptionist, waiting outside the room.

 

“Adam, there’s someone looking for you.”

 

“Who?”

 

“No idea, never saw him before. He said he wants to see you, but didn’t leave his name. He’s still outside waiting.”

 

Adam shot Shakira a look to take care of Rose, as he left.

 

“Tall, wide frame, heavy southern accent like my dad.” She briefly described.

 

His eyes widened instantly, hurried to the entrance. His heart raced, it had to be Blake, couldn't wait any longer. It was irrational to have such lust for a man he barely knew, but he believed Blake is who he wanted when they were feeding Rose that night. He felt the sense of family and belonging at that moment.

 

Once he reached the entrance, startled as Blake entered his sight once again.

 

Uncertainty and angst well written on their expression, they both stood still with gazes fixed on one another, that few seconds of silence felt like eternity.

 

The tension eased as Miley walked pass them.

 

"You're back." Adam said it like an understatement, hid the excited spirit under his plain tone.

 

"I moved to Queens." Learnt from their last encounter, Blake told the news directly.

 

"That's……" Looked into those crystal blue eyes, lured him closer to hug Blake in the name of celebration. "Great."

 

Felt so right when their bodies wrapped tight, heavy breath against each other. The warmth of each other reminded them of that night. Blake could feel the way Adam tightened his grips on his flannel shirt.

 

"You could have call." Adam complained as they retrieved from one another.

 

"I…… I wasn't sure if ya want to see me." Blake said with relief. Adam was obviously hurt that night, even though he accepted him as the father of their daughter.

 

Those hazel eyes staring at him with anticipations, could feel the sweat on his palms, his heart was beating louder and louder, and the air became suffocating. Those thoughts he’d been suppressing clashed him like waves, luring him to act on them.

 

“Adam,” Someone called with doubt in her voice, as she came with Rose.

 

Before Adam could introduce, Blake approached his daughter up at first sight, picked her up for a kiss at her forehead. “She’s bigger than the last time.”

 

Adam gave an understanding smile, “She can say simple words now. Animals, food and names.”

 

Rose giggled when her tiny palms placed on Blake’s itchy stubble cheeks, tried to stop him from nuzzling at her.

 

He then noted the gaze from the lady behind Rose’s trolley, she was obviously surprised by his passion to Rose.

 

“This’s Blake,” Adam gestured, “Rose’s father. And this is Shakira.”

 

“Hi,” She paused abruptly, not sure if she heard him correctly, shot Adam a last look for confirmation.

 

“Blake Shelton,” The southern man bowed slightly, “My pleasure to meet ya.”

 

* * *

  
_Central park_

 

Walking along the lake, Adam suggested to take Blake to Central Park since he still hadn’t been there yet.

 

“Your friend, she didn’t seem pleasant,” Blake commented as they walked along the lake.

 

“She’s mad at me, I didn’t tell her about you and Rose.” Adam knew what she would say about Blake if he told her. “She can be very protective when her mother nature kicks in.”

 

He watched the southern man quietly, seeing their daughter asleep peacefully in those strong arms. “You are staying this time?”

 

“Yes,” Blake answered after a moment. “I’ll be here whenever ya need me.”

 

He said quietly, seriously.

 

Adam nodded silently, knowing Blake probably meant for Rose.

 

“What do you do in Queens?”

 

“Mechanic. Probably the only thing I am good at.” He said. “What about ya?”

 

Adam shrugged, nothing in particular happened except how often he thought of Blake.

 

“That night.” Adam stopped himself, shook his head, hoped Blake overhear it.

 

Blake’s internal contracted in shock, it was not an issue he wished to face. He felt something that night, and he still felt it when Adam clinched on him earlier. It was mutual, but they both avoided acting on it, things were different when they had to consider Rose.

 

“Do you miss me?” Adam turned his gaze away from Blake, took a chance to dump his feelings out for discussion.

 

“Adam,” He sighed, “Yes, I miss ya, I still do, but it isn’t that simple.” His lips were blocked with Adam’s, rewarded with a slow, breath taking kiss.

 

“That’s all I need to hear.” It might not be what he wished for, at least he knew Blake felt the same. His palm was grabbed by Blake’s spare hand when he almost gave up.

 

“We can give it a go, if ya want to.”

 

Adam pressed his lips against him one more time. It was unwise to take such risk, but he would regret if he let Blake slips pass him again.

 

* * *

  
_Three months later. Adam’s apartment_

 

It was dawn when Rose’s crying woke Adam from his sleep, he climbed out of the bed, walked to the crave near his bed.

 

He picked her up, smoothed her to fall sleep again, sometimes she cries for no reason. Toddler now, but still a baby in his eyes. He could hardly imagine taking her to elementary school, criticizing her prom date, driving her to college far away. The concept of aging and growing up frightened him.

 

Now he knew how his parents felt the day he left LA. The silent, but sorrow eyes of his father. His mother struggled in letting go of the one last hug.

 

"She's alright?" Blake asked with sleepy voice.

 

Adam nodded as he covered the sheet on Rose. Blake embraced him from behind, dragged him back in bed with those solid arms, one placed on his waist, another slid up on his chest, spooned against him.

 

Adam knew he made the right choice as he fell asleep again inside warm grips of Blake.

 


End file.
